negatif, positif, et des esperations

I feel like writing a blog but I have nothing much to say. I hung out with Rachel today, and even though we got soaked in a monsoon, it was still fun. I think a beautiful friendship is going to blossom ;) haha. I also saw my good ol' violin teaxher Wan Tsai. I saw here 2 times a week for 12 years from when I was 4-15 and then suddenly I never saw her anymore. Thats a strange thing. I hate endings. But I love new beginnings. I also had a good skype chat with Hamed today, and I find myself laughing uncontrollably whenever I talk to him. It's really not fair.

I started this yesterday, and I still really want to write but I still have nothing on my mind. I don't like having nothing on my mind. I don't like the only thing exciting or interesting to be a boy. Or something so quizzical as that. I don't like knowing that next week everything will pick up and I am going to become very stressed and probably not that happy again. I don't like that a big chunk of my support system has up and left me to go to university. I don't like that everyone is in their own world and it is hard to up and find a new support system. I don't like that I want to open up but I have no words for how I'm feeling. I always know. And I don't like not knowing.I don't like the gr.12 table. I don't like missing my family. I don't like that the pictures of my cousins on my wall make me sad because I miss them so much. I don't like being tired.I want my energy back.

I like new beginnings. I like challenges, as long as they are not too challenging. I like new clothes. I like making new friends. I like looking forward to some classes. I like singing. I like dancing.I like choir. I like new youth group.I like being excited. I like hanging out with new people, who aren't actually new. I like being a happy person, and I wish that person was there as much as she used to be.

I wish I could look on the bright side more. I wish I could forget about the past. I wish I could have some faith.I wish to be valedictorian.I wish my brother and best friends were home again. I wish I had less to vent about and more to ramble about.I wish I had less depressing blogs. I wish I was not a boring person. I wish I was gr.10 me, she was cool.